Compliments Have a Powerful Impact. Here’s How to Give Them.

Compliments Have a Powerful Impact. Here’s How to Give Them.

A stranger gave me a compliment 10 years ago that I’ll never forget. I was at a diner in Brooklyn with my then 3-year-old and a few of her friends. I was making them laugh by acting silly — inserting two long French fries under my upper lip so I looked like a walrus, for example.

After lunch, a woman came up to me and said she had enjoyed my “show.” She was recently widowed, she said, and it felt good to laugh.

Offering a compliment has been shown to benefit both the giver and receiver, but we often hold back because we’re worried about how we’ll come off, said Erica Boothby, a social psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, who has studied the positive effects of compliments.

Many of us, Dr. Boothby said, grapple with questions like: Will I make the other person feel awkward? Will the compliment seem fake, or pandering?

“The reality is, these messages are usually much more welcome than we expect,” she said. “And we are overly, unnecessarily pessimistic.”

I want to help us all feel more confident delivering praise, so I asked Dr. Boothby and other experts for suggestions.

One of them, Milo McCabe, gave me a “compliment lesson” outside the New York Public Library’s flagship location last week. He is a British comedian who plays a midcentury “matinee idol” character named Troy Hawke in viral videos. Donning a smoking jacket and a pencil mustache, McCabe is well known for complimenting athletes at sporting events. (“You have the poise of an apex predator, but the eyes of a kindly woodland creature,” he once told Nathan Aké, a Manchester City soccer player.)

First, size up people’s body language to see if they seem open to being approached, said McCabe, who arrived for our lesson in character. Then, he added, look for appealing quirks.

If someone has clearly made an effort to dress up, for example, this should be noted immediately. “I adore that pastel blue blazer,” he told one older man, whose face lit up. “With purple socks? Stunning. Confident.”

McCabe told a woman that she had admirable posture. “You clearly do the Alexander Technique all day,” he said. She smiled and straightened up even more.

Keep it upbeat, keep it short and keep moving, so people are reassured that you don’t have an agenda, McCabe told me.

And be sincere, even with strangers, Dr. Boothby said. “You shouldn’t go around giving empty compliments you don’t genuinely feel.”

If you’re complimenting someone you know, try to make it distinctive, said Barbara Fredrickson, the director of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and the author of “Love 2.0.” Instead of saying that you like the person’s laugh, say how it makes you feel. (“Hearing you laugh makes me want to laugh, too.”)

Or, if you’re complimenting something someone has done, explain why you admire it, Dr. Fredrickson said. “Instead of just saying, ‘Oh, what a great dinner you made,’” she said, “you can say, ‘You’re always so good at finding a new recipe and being creative.’” Personalizing your compliment with context, she said, makes the person feel even more valued.

It doesn’t need to be a lavish compliment, either, McCabe said. You can use humor to praise everyday acts. (Taking his suggestion, I told my husband, “You change the coffee filter like a champion.”)

If you have a positive thought about someone, Dr. Fredrickson said, consider sharing it. Even better, look for opportunities to slip a compliment into your conversation.

Most people are “in the grip of their inner critic,” McCabe said. “But if you can give someone a good compliment — that you mean — you kind of give their inner critic a right hook.”

The U.S. dietary supplement industry has exploded in the past three decades — but most supplements have not been rigorously tested for safety or effectiveness. Still, experts say there are some instances where taking a supplement may have benefits. Alice Callahan gives you the lowdown.

Read the article: Should I Be Taking Supplements?

Erik Vance, a former rock climbing instructor, thought taking his 7-year-old up a 900-foot rock face would “build character.” His son felt differently.

Read the article: I Was Trying to Build My Son’s Resilience, Not Scar Him for Life

Here are some stories you don’t want to miss:

Let’s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on Instagram, or write to us at And check out last week’s newsletter about readers’ offbeat rituals.




孤注一掷-線上看 完整版『2023』~4K線上看| 小鴨影音HD~1080p

【孤注一掷】- 線上看小鴨完整版 高清No More Bets」在线观看和下载HD~1080pL


孤注一掷-線上看【2023】HD – 在線觀看 [HK-No More Bets] 線上看~1080p

看《孤注一掷》-線上看 完整版 – 在线观看[No More Bets]电影高清[2023]~4K

【孤注一掷】-線上看【2023】|HD~1080p 在线观看和下载~4K


粽邪3:鬼門開【2023】線上看| 在线观看和下载~4K小鴨影音| HD-1080p

【粽邪3:鬼門開】- 線上看小鴨完整版 高清The Rope Curse 3」在线观看和下载HD~1080p

粽邪3:鬼門開-線上看【2023】HD – 在線觀看 [HK-The Rope Curse 3] 線上看~1080p

看《粽邪3:鬼門開》-線上看 完整版 – 在线观看[The Rope Curse 3]电影高清[2023]~4K

【粽邪3:鬼門開】-線上看【2023】|HD~1080p 在线观看和下载~4K


私刑教育3線上看【2023】| 在线观看和下载~4K小鴨影音| HD-1080p

《私刑教育3》線上看完整版HD~1080p – 在线观看【The Equalizer 3 2023】电影高清~4K

【私刑教育3】- 線上看小鴨完整版 高清The Equalizer 3」在线观看和下载HD~1080p

【伸冤人3】-線上看【2023】|HD~1080p 在线观看和下载~4K

伸冤人3-線上看 (2023) 完整版The Equalizer 3 完整版[4K/HD~1080p] 在線免費

伸冤人3-線上看 「完整版」[2023]高清电影HD~[1080P]完整的电影

【伸冤人3】- 線上看小鴨完整版 高清【The Equalizer 3 2023】在线观看和下载HD~1080p

¡REPELÍSPLUS!▷VER—The Equalizer 3 (2023) Película Completa

[Cuevana-3] Ver The Equalizer 3 (2023) Película Completa

¡VER!!—The Equalizer 3 Película Completa Castellano en Español Latino Gratis

[Cuevana-4] Ver—The Equalizer 3 (2023) Película Completa Online Gratis en Español latino

¡Flix—Ver The Equalizer 3 `El justiciero 3` (2023) Película Completa Online Español y latino





↑PelisPlus-VER↓ Fast & Furious X Película completa-español en línea gratis

[REPELIS verFast X (Fast & Furious 10) PELÍCULA COMPLETA Español

[Cuevana 4]!* Ver Fast & Furious 10 (Online) Película Completa 2023 en Español y Latino

✔Fast X (Fast & Furious 10) (2023)🎬 PELICULA COMPLETA➤ ESPAÑOL GRATIS

VOIR ▷ Fast X Film Complet En Francais HD [Regarder]

Regarder Fast X Film Complet En Francais [En HD Regarder]

!VOIR,!! — Fast & Furious X en Streaming-VF en Français, VOSTFR COMPLET

FILM ▷ Fast and Furious 10 en Streaming-VF en Français

ASSISTIR Velocidade Furiosa X 2023 FILME COMPLETO

Assistir Velocidade Furiosa X (2023) Filme Completo Online

!Assistir Filme Velozes e Furiosos 10 Completo HD 2023 Dublado Online

Assistir Velocidade Furiosa X 2023 Online Gratis (Filme HD)

[ดู.หนัง] เงือกน้อยผจญภัย (THE LITTLE MERMAID – 2023) เต็มเรื่อง HD พากย์ไทย ดูหนังใหม่ 1080I

ดูหนัง เงือกน้อยผจญภัย (2023) เต็มเรื่อง HD พากย์ไทย THAI HD Quality

[ดูหนัง.THAI] เงือกน้อยผจญภัย (2023) เต็มเรื่อง HD พากย์ไทย ฟรี on ยูทูบ

รู้ไว้ก่อนดู The Little Mermaid (2023) เงือกน้อยผจญภัย เต็ม เรื่อง

PELISPLUS !MEGA La Sirenita Pelicula Completa (HD) Espanol y Latino

VER_La Sirenita (2023) película completa en español latino


VER_La Sirenita (2023) película completa en español latino

REPELIS] Ver Transformers: El despertar de las bestias (2023) Película Online

[¡PELISPLUS!]*—Ver Transformers El despertar de las bestias [2023] Pelicula Completa Online en Español HD

Mega!-ver Transformers: El despertar de las bestias (Pelicula) HD online en espanol latino

PElis NUE (4k) ver Transformers: El despertar de las bestias ~Pelicula completa HD

[ดู-ไทย] ทรานส์ฟอร์เมอร์ส: กำเนิดจักรกลอสูร [TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS-2023] – ดูหนังออนไลน์ (1080P) พากย์ไทย เต็มเรื่อง

ดู-หนัง!*] Transformers 2023 (ทรานส์ฟอร์เมอร์ส : กำเนิดจักรกลอสูร) ดูหนังออนไลน์ HD พากย์ไทย 1080p

ดูหนัง ทรานส์ฟอร์เมอร์ส: กำเนิดจักรกลอสูร (Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts) ออนไลน์ฟรี HD พากย์ไทย THAI!

[ดู.หนัง] ทรานส์ฟอร์เมอร์ส: กำเนิดจักรกลอสูร (2023) หนังเต็ม HD พากย์ไทย [Transformers: Rise of the Beasts]

Assistir Transformers: Rise of the Beasts [2023] Filme Completo Dublado Online Gratis em Portuguese

[[*Assistir]] Transformers: Rise of the Beasts Filme completo [ 2023 ] Dublado Portugues Grátis Online

Assistir Transformers O Despertar das Feras filme completo Dublado online Legendado

ASSISTIR! Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) Filme Dublado Online Legendado HD Grátis

Transformers : Rise of the Beasts Streaming VF 2023 Regarder Film-Complet HD

!4K-VOIR!!@ — The Beasts en StreamingVF||COMPLET, VOSTFR-Gratuits

[.^WATCH^.] Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) FullMovie Free Online Streaming on 123𝓶𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓼

[*𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐌𝐒 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐑*] Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) Français Gratuit et VF Complet




Teh pucuk